SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize