Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
