just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
