My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
