Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
