I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
