let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize