you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
