there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
