11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
