I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
