Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
