I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
