sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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