Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
