I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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