Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize