smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
