Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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