U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
