All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im drinking this country out of the recession.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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