ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We had sex on a dog bed..
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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