I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
