Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
