haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
