I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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