can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize