her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Boobs speak an international language.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
