I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize