Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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