I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
