The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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