I cockslap morals
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
do nipples grow back?
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