I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
