sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize