it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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