Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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