My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
