i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
