I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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