dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
