filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
