he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
