Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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