Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
