so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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