I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I understand Curling. That high.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
