Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
