I just made out with a guy for $7.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
