I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
