New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
