Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
