How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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