a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my poor anus
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
