At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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