i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
