Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize