Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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