You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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