I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
