Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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